I’ve now been hard at work for two full weeks…only to have my schedule change with classes starting tomorrow! I love the office that I work in, my supervisor is fabulous and fun, and with students on campus everything feels more energized (or maybe that’s just the sense of reckless confusion mixed with the sweet smell of stressed out academic advisors). Also, supervising a student staff feels great. They are so excited and motivated to do their jobs, and I couldn’t ask for more reliable students to work with.
I am nervous for classes to begin. Sure, I can handle my job when that’s all I have to focus on, but graduate level courses add whole new challenges to my time-management capabilities. At least I’ll have some work to fill the more lonesome times!
Being away from Mr. Photographer is manageable…we are both very dedicated to the well-being of each other and our relationship. But saying goodbye to him after a visit…that’s where I struggle. The most difficult moment is walking back into my apartment after he’s driven away. Things are quiet, his things are gone, there are dishes in the sink, and I am suddenly very aware of how alone I am. But my independent spirit hasn’t failed me yet, and having a fulfilling job and work that demands my attention certainly helps.
I did read a quotation yesterday that has been on my mind:
“Absence is to love as wind is to fire; It extinguishes the small and kindles the great.”
— Roger de Bussy-Rabutin
I find this to be beautiful, absolutely true, and much more powerful than the usual ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ business. When you’re apart from someone you love, you don’t want to waste precious time sweating the small stuff. Time together or conversing is precious. The meaning of “being a couple” comes to be defined by the big picture stuff, foregoing petty arguments and trivial attitudes (extinguishing the small).
The beautiful thing (the great that has been kindled) from this challenge we have taken on is that when it’s over, we will be fully prepared to take on the world together. If we can cope, communicate, trust, problem-solve, grow, and display appreciation for one another because of and in spite of distance, we are maturing together and gaining skills we’ll use to work through any obstacle life throws our way. Hanging onto these thoughts and feelings is how I make it from visit to visit.
Speaking of visits…the next will be our one-year anniversary! Thank you to everyone who has loved and supported us so far in this journey. We’re just getting started and it just keeps getting better!